Lost Memories
by Upper Tyes
Summary: Waking up in a coffin with not remembering anything, L was whisked into lies and deceits by one Light Yagami. He was told that he was a friend in college that had died because of an unknown cause of heart attack, most likely from his fragile health. Notwithstanding suspiciousness, L reluctantly believed Light whom later introduced himself as his lover to the former detective.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: My name is Raudha, I loved collecting dolls since I have more than 80 of them in my room and I don't own Death Note.**

**A/N: Got bored with Danny Phantom so I'm whipping up DN. This is adopted from**_ kitoriwitch613_**with the same title. DP is still going, got stuck with Sacrifice but Blinding Flashlight is easier to write tho. As usual, update is up to my mood.**

**Cover art is by nekonekoazaraku from Deviantart, it is not mine.**

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**LOST MEMORIES**

**CHAPTER ONE: WHAT WAS THIS PLACE**

Death was a horrible, horrible thing and surely this was it, this was death. This was where people stopped breathing, stopped laughing, ceased being. This was—

_Sore. Dark. Silent. He felt so tired that he couldn't think, couldn't smell, and couldn't breathe, couldn't—_

All he could hear was this swirling in his head, incessantly cloying his senses.

He felt too sore to move and look around but he could feel the surface under him. He felt fabric so smooth beneath his skin. His fingers glided across it, timidly and unsurely tasting the glorious softness of— what was this anyway?

_Satin? _

Some kind of cushioning for his aching body, it must be. It was rather comfortable. There was something much harder under it when his fingers pressed down.

_Wood?_

He moved his hand to reach for something, grab something, touch anything.

It hurts badly. He cringed when it felt like little pricks and tingles stabbed at everywhere around, searing his nerves. He halted and slowly moved again when the sensation decreased. His hand didn't go far before it hit a wall.

_A wall?_

He slid the hand along the lane. Both eyes were open but nothing came into view. It was as dark, as still, and as silent as ever before. His other hand did the same to its own side and he then noticed that it was about the same distance apart. The walls offered very limited space to do any extensive movements. This wasn't good. He lifted his right hand up too quickly and it collided with a ceiling.

Which was only mere inches from his face.

Not good. Not good.

He was in a box.

He felt panic rising, claustrophobia setting and anxiety level increasing. A sound came from his mouth, a breathy moan, nearly inaudible but he heard it so he wasn't deaf and the swirling wasn't the only thing he heard anymore. He did another frantic movement and the result was no different. His left hand found the ceiling as well, his right bumped painfully into the wall. He licked his lips, feeling the dry skin of it scrape against his tongue. His throat felt dry.

He groaned breathily. He hacked a cough and gasped and breathed. His hands grappled again for the wall, knocking the wood, testing the firmness—

He was trapped. Ignoring the pain in his muscles, he proceeded banging his fists on the top of the box, slamming his palm violently against it. _Bang. Bang. _It didn't budge. The cloying was fervent in his mind as he tried to shout for any attention in his vicinity but what came instead from his mouth was—

"Helfen sie mir!" _Let me out!_

What… did he just say. He tried again. "Faites-moi sortir!" He didn't know what he was shouting out. "Osvobodite menya!" All he heard was his voice, was it his voice? In his head that cried out for help came instead long strings of sounds he vaguely remembered from confusing fleets of memories. Memories that seem to wouldn't stay, chasing around in his head, surfacing, drowning, clarifying, blurring. Nauseating his mind with incomprehensible thoughts. "Lasă-mă afară!" He banged harder and harder and his fists and palms hurt so badly. "Help me!" Now he was bumping his knees to the ceiling. "Tasukete!"

He was scared. His eyes watered. His throat and tongue felt so dry, so dry. Every sound he made was hoarse. He didn't even know what he was saying anymore. He just wanted to get out.

"Is someone there?"

There was a reply.

He wept. Someone, someone please. "Tasukete!" he shouted, matching the language he heard. "Help me! Get me out!"

"Hold on!"

Oh God, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

The wood creaked and cracked, then light seeped through the splinters. The person who came to his rescue was using a metal tool. So the box had been nailed shut, no wonder he couldn't budge it.

The top came off. He grimaced when everything seemed to hit him all at once, the sounds, the light, the air, the smell. His senses felt heady. He fisted his hands and blinked repeatedly as blinding neon ray poured down on him. He wiped his wet eyes. There was a stout-looking uniformed man looking down at him. He blinked again.

"Are you okay?" The man had on a bushy mustache and a double chin, the ceiling light behind him made it look like he was glowing. _Security guard_, his mind informed from under the gossamer of confusion.

"Hey, are you okay?" the double-chinned man asked again. "What were you doing in there?"

The savior's pudgy hands went under his armpits and he lifted him out with a grunt. He cringed when it felt like his arms' sockets were being strained. The man mumbled an apology. He shakily grabbed hold of a shoulder and lifted one leg out. He stumbled. The man steadied him as he lifted the other foot out. He stood on weak, trembling legs. "Steady now boy, lean a bit on me." The man patiently said.

He looked back to the box he was trapped in before and it was a… a coffin. He frowned. Coffin?

It was elegant, the wood done in white and gold. What was he doing in there? Was he dead? No, it couldn't possibly be so. He felt alive. This must be some kind of sick… sick prank.

"What's your name, boy?"

He blinked slowly, like as if he needs to put lots of effort doing it. His thoughts were too far, too fuzzy, and his memories kept scurrying away when he tried to grasp them, his chest hurts, his ears were ringing with bells. _Bells. Tolling loudly. Someone was crying._

He couldn't keep them from disintegrating_._ It was a ravine of futile chase around to find his—

Name?

Nothing. He searched the gaping hollow of his mind for a name or a clue or a hint, anything.

"Anata no onamaehanandesuka?" _What is your name? _The question was repeated.

He jerked. "Ich… weiß nicht ..." _I don't know._

"Onsha?" _Pardon?_

The man inquired in another language. He felt confused for a fraction of while until he responded with what seem to be the appropriate answer for his predicament which was, "Nani mo." _Nothing._

He didn't know who he was, where he was, how he got here. He was a stranger to himself.

The man clucked his tongue. "Don't you remember anything?"

"Nani mo," He repeated.

"Come," said the pork-bellied man, "I'm taking you to the hospital."

As the man half carried him, he looked around, noting that the place was bland. It had only white walls and tiled floors, and when he inhaled a lungful of hair he noticed a horrid stench that also colored the room. Stench of rot. _Rotting corpses, blood, eyes missing, limbs scattered, red, red eyes._

They went through the door and there was a sudden change in scenery. It was more elegant even though caskets cluttered most of the space in the room. Elongated rows of coffins, black, white, red, brown.

"Excuse me," he asked, "where… are we?"

His savior glanced to him. "The Hosho American Style Funeral Home."

He looked down to his feet. So he was dead, supposedly so. Someone had thought he was dead. Or perhaps was trying to put what seems to be a horrible sense of humor into form.

"Let's see who, uh… dropped you off here," They walked silently as he was led into a small office. "Wait," The man ordered and briskly walked into the cabinets. He slouched against the wall, thumb jammed in between his lips. The security guard looked through the files as he worked on his nail with his teeth. He felt unnerved with not knowing anything, and the sound of papers sliding didn't help either. It was rather maddening.

"Here we go," the man took a paper with a flourish. "It says here that a Mr. Yagami was the one who dropped you off. Does he sound familiar?"

He frowned and bit his thumb harder, eyebrows furrowing. _Yagami…_ it felt like the answer was there but far out of his grappling reach. He covered his mouth with knuckled fingers. It was frustrating, Yagami didn't sound familiar.

"No?"

He shook his head.

The man sighed. "Sit there. I'm going to call an ambulance and get you into a hospital, then I'll call this Mr. Yagami and see if he's responsible for you."

He nodded. He sat himself down on one of the metal chairs against the wall. He had his feet on the ground and it felt somehow indescribably uncomfortable. He brought his knees to his chest. Better.

"Here we go!" He looked up and saw the man holding a document, "It says here your name is Ryuuzaki. Hm, no last name. I'm guessing that Yagami is your last name. Does that sound familiar?"

He shook his head. "No," he mumbled, "It…It doesn't…" There was no familiarity with that name either. Yagami Ryuuzaki? No, not at all. "I don't know…."

His savior made a phone call and he nibbled at his thumb again, lids lowering in spinning thoughts. Ryuuzaki didn't sound anything like him. Felt nothing like him. It wasn't his name. Coalesce of unorganized remembrance teased around his being, amiable conversations in different sounds, languages, dates, giggles, the smell of tea, but really. Those were nothing of any importance. He couldn't remember himself.

It was like as if he didn't exist until he woke up in that white and gold coffin.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: My age is 16, English is my second language after Bahasa Indonesia and I don't own Death Note.**

**A/N: I freaking NEED A BETA because it's a pain pain pain to go over my own crap writing and feeling bad all over and not wanting to post at all but alas I did. I'm very sorry** _Kitoriwitch613_ **that I almost completely changed the chapter to suit my own style. I fucking hate my writing I wish I could write like Neil Gaiman or Stephen King or this author I really really like in fanfiction and that's why it took me so long to finish this. But I love the act of writing. **

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**LOST MEMORIES**

**CHAPTER TWO: THINGS WERE COMING TOGETHER RATHER NICELY**

Oh yes, they were.

After all he had to put up with and everything he was backed, wearily cornered into doing. He'd won.

The Great Detective L—

Was gone.

The best part of it?

No one suspected him anymore for being the mass murderer he was, saves for the dead man himself (_forever doomed in the dark, claustrophobic space of his coffin_. _He wondered if he had rotten in it yet._)

Light Yagami was Kira. And there was not a thing L could do because he was dead, while Light wasn't: alive, breathing, and indisputably ready to be The God of the New World. He grinned, hiding the ugly smirk behind a façade of mock bemoan. Matsuda looked up, sensing the slight change of demeanor in the younger man. "Light-kun?"

He shook his head, putting up a hand to his forehead, feigning unease and disorientation.

But oh, checkmate… and the game was over.

He playfully pictured that winning the lottery must have felt like this; the excitement rushing through his blood and drunken him with the headiness of it. But then again, no, he supposed not. L's pretty (_beautiful_) death should have never been considered second best to something as worthless as money. No, Light had not won the lottery— he had won the whole fucking world. The world in where he would be God in it with no Lucifer standing to take him down from his pedestal, preventing him from crowning his head with the most rightful justice in the world that was his own view.

Matsuda saw him smiling again and prudently asked if the brunet were doing alright.

"No, Matsuda. I was just remembering something funny Ryuuzaki had said to me once." He breathed softly, lids lowered with perfect caramel lashes faintly sweeping his cheek and dimpled smile faltering. He impeccably painted the absolute picture of a devout lament. So easily he played his role seeing that he'd been thrown a little off balance when the burr noticed his unconcealed show of contentment. Matsuda sadly stared at him, eyes reflecting utter sorry for his flawlessly fabricated grief.

He had to often remind himself that he was supposed to be doing the act of mourning. Wasn't he a good friend to dear old Ryuuzaki? Or was he? Haha.

And they all believed this… concocted sincerity he orchestrated on his face. Laughable.

He could feel the press of Rem's black notebook on the back of his shirt, cloaked from the scrutiny of the other incompetent investigators. They were faulty without Ryuuzaki to guide them, so very easily fooled.

They instantly dubbed him the role of L after the former had been determined to be deceased. It was decided that the world could go on with their lives without any mention of L's death, no need at all— he could certainly continue on being one. There was no need to create unnecessary turmoil with such news to the mass— that the man that had sworn to catch Kira died because of Kira himself. Kira was undefeatable.

It made life more than a fraction easier that he had conveniently replaced L in title.

Such a pathetic end to the detective, not even his own name left after his death. The tombstone would be blank. Such sad, sad ending, to be forgotten for all the good he'd done.

It was fortunate in the merit that nobody seemed to notice Ryuuga Hideki's absence at campus as well. As if he had never existed, though Light had to admit it was L's paranoia that had helped with that. Missing classes for the sake of preserving himself had made him to become a nobody in everyone's perceiving. It was only occasional that someone would mention his absence to him— the appropriate choice as he was the only other genius. At that, he mentioned abroad college for greater opportunity.

His house had never felt like such haven before. He felt liberated to be in the very place where he had first felt stagnant, the place where everything was all liability and façade. He took off his shoes, stepping lightly onto the wooden floor and shrugging off his coat. He fingered the wall as he ascended up the stairs to his room. His room. He supposed he missed it, missed the absent of privacy that he'd sought hard when being chained to L who always unabashedly stared.

He slid the notebook from behind his shirt and quietly flipped open to the last page Rem had written, paper rustling inaudibly.

Ha! _L Lawliet._

_(Oh such a sweet name.)_

The syllables slithered through his lips with a saccharine feel to it. _L Lawliet. _He tested it, running the name with his tongue again, lips tilted as whispered breath formed letters. _And his name really was L._

Such a prize! A trophy he saw fit into using whenever he should refer to the late man in his most inner thoughts in later future. It was the name that had eluded him from sitting on his throne, name that had had him running in circles. _Lawliet, Lawliet, Lawliet._

He did not bother acknowledging the peculiar runes running around the name, circling it in a perfect round, runes in dead language that he assumed to be older than even Sumerian. He could always ask Ryuuk what those runes mean and why had Rem felt it necessary to write them down. For now, being cognizant of the detective's name itself had been enough to make him feel beyond mildly satisfied.

"Light! You're finally home!" A voice interrupted, "I've missed you so much!" Sayu came bounding through his door, ponytail slightly swinging as a sunny smile surfaced to her features. "It's been so long!" Oh dear sister; a nuisance from time to time but always such a predictable constant in his life. "Oh, haha, by the way, could you help me with my homework? I'm really lost without you assisting me!"

He smiled, appeasing her, back still turned to shield the notebook from view.

"Why not?"

Yes, things were going rather nicely. And everything was falling back into its rightful pace.

Father had given his word that he would be home tonight, though Light had an inkling of doubt that he really would since there were still papers to finish and loose ends to tie up. Mother still served him down a plate even the odds of him keeping this promise were slim; she knew that and learned to accept it after the first few months start of the Kira case. She hoped he'd come stepping through the front door soon anyway.

To everyone's surprise, as the family sat down preparing to eat, the front door opened and in walked Father.

"Dad!" Sayu cried out, knocking her chair over as she ran and jumped into her father's arms. Soichiro smiled, embracing her warmly.

"How was work, honey?" Sachiko asked, walking over to kiss him.

His father sat down in front of him. The brunet faintly noticed the increasing rate of gray hairs created from stress. "It's been busy."

Light picked at his food, "I could help you with the investigation, if you'd like."

"You need to be worrying about your school work right now." Soichiro gruffed out.

"I agree," Sachiko said, sitting down next to her husband. "You need to be worrying about other things. You should take Misa out sometimes, buy her something nice things. Girls like getting nice things." She cleared her throat, "Like gold jewelry or diamonds, even dinner at a nice restaurant."

Sayu smirked, getting what her mother was hinting at. "A diamond ring on her would look really great," she chimed in. "I still can't believe you're dating a celebrity."

Oblivious to what his wife's hidden meaning, Soichiro took his cutlery, starting to cut into his dinner in precise movements. "Do what your mother says."

Light ignored it in regard of putting another bite into his mouth, chewing doggedly on it. Soon, he would kill Misa and be rid of her incessant whining, unwanted kisses and stifling hugs.

At some point, the phone rang as they ate. Sachiko got out of her chair, mumbling about how they had just been eating peacefully. "Hello, Yagami residence. May I ask who's speaking?"

Something was said and Sachiko sighed. Work again for her husband, and to think she could have at least one decent dinner with her family. "Alright, one moment please," She covered the mouthpiece with her hand, directing her attention to Soichiro. "Honey, there's a Dr. Uramura who wants to speak to you."

"Uramura? Never heard of them." He calmly took another mouthful of meat.

"It's probably about your high blood pressure."

Soichiro grumbled slightly, miffed to be chided about his blood pressure. He stood up, taking the phone from Sachiko in a gesture of impatience. "This is Soichiro Yagami."

Sachiko looked over to Light. "Honestly, your father's health has been deteriorating ever since he started working on that case. I hope they catch the man soon." She sat back on her seat.

"Soon, Mother," Light gave a confident smile.

"Yeah!" Sayu grinned widely, rice sticking to the side of her lips "Dad will catch the bad guy just like he always—"

"He's _alive_?" Came a cry of surprise from Soichiro. Everybody instantly diverted their attention from their meal, opting to stare at the man instead.

"Are you sure? But he was checked by a doct— I understand… Yes, I'll be there immediately."

Soichiro put down the phone, "I've got to go to the hospital. I'll be back later."

Sachiko's expression darkened. "You haven't even finished your meal."

"That can wait," He winced.

"I'm coming too," Light said, standing up. Soichiro looked him over, mulled over his son's decision and nodded.

"You too, Light?" Sayu pouted. "It's going to be Mom and me again eating alone."

"Sorry, Sayu."

Light followed after his father, grabbing a coat and putting on his shoes. Soichiro grabbed the car keys and walked at a clipped pace to the door.

Once they were in the car did Light finally ask, "What happened?"

"Don't get your hopes up," Soichiro said, backing the car out from their house. "They're probably mistaken. There is no way it could be him. I checked him myself. The doctor said he had no heartbeat. How could he be…" They were zooming on the road, lights blurring from the windows on their sides.

"Father," he interrupted. "What are you talking about?"

Soichiro sighed and inhaled, "I don't want you to get your hopes up, but…" He licked his lips. They came to a red light and Soichiro took the chance looking over at his son.

"That doctor Uramura informed me that Ryuuzaki is in the hospital, alive and well."

_No._

He felt his newly-spread wings instantly being crushed to the sides like a butterfly getting stuck when coming out of its chrysalis, doomed to die eventually in the outcome. He felt hot, white anger flashing momentarily through him as the news shook every part of his carefully planned pattern. This possibility wasn't supposed to present itself! He clenched his fists, trying nigh futilely to suppress his shock. "How is that possible?" He whispered faintly, palpable shock evident in his low timbre.

_(Calm and collected_.)

"Father? _How?_" He forced the question again, pressing. This was beyond measurable, from all the possibilities of him tumbling out of his throne, _this hadn't been one of it! _Improbable! "Didn't we correctly check for his heartbeat? Or was it torpidity?"

"That's what I said," Soichiro swerved the car to another turn. "But Uramura's description sounded just like Ryuuzaki." He kept his eyes on the road as he finally cracked a smile. "We're just going to check, it can't really be him, it really can't…"

Light gazed forward. Of course, _Lawliet_ had died in his arms. Whoever this person was, it couldn't possibly be _Lawliet_. What if it was a trap? Perhaps Interpol had gotten a signal from L's computer when Watari had deleted all the data and they had come down here to investigate him again. It was like L to have it known that Light was a suspect, eventually leading to get him arrested. But—

No, there was no possible way he could be caught. _This cat and mouse game started to get really tiring. _

There was no evidence anyone could bring up against him to prove him as Kira. Apart from the Task Force, no one else knew of the notebooks. Even if they did, no amount of thorough searching would help them to find another apart from the one they held in custody.

Even Misa wasn't foolish enough to let her note be acquired by them. It would lead to guilt on her part to as much to _disappoint_ him, and the girl wouldn't want that. That would be the same as losing her worth. If anything should happen and Misa were caught, she would not talk, and he could easily kill her. Light felt his wings mending, and began to climb back to his throne.

He knew there was no chance of L escaping the clutches of death. No one could. Not even the great detective that ever _lived_.

And even if it were a trap, what kind of thing would they be searching apart from his reaction to the news? Dissecting the emotion on his perfectly masked face to reveal the truth? Unlikely.

No. Wait.

The runes. The peculiar writings that circled his name.

_Rem! Rem fiddled with his death! How dare that thing— _

It made him want to kill Misa just out of spite!

"We have to see for ourselves," Soichiro continued. "Who knows, perhaps Kira made a mistake concerning his death."

_Kira does not make mistakes_. Light watched as the scenery zoomed past. _I've never made mistakes, and I do not plan to either._

_Where is Ryuuk when I really need his grinning face to throw questions at._

"Mr. Yagami?"

The man peered at both of them from behind dark-rimmed glasses. "I'm Dr. Uramura."

"Soichiro Yagami," he introduced himself, "and this is my son, Light."

Light nodded as his father flounced a hand at his direction. Uramura did likewise.

"Are you familiar with Ryuuzaki?" He asked, tone professional and cutting straight to the point.

"I was familiar with him, but as far as I'm concerned, he is already dead," Soichiro glanced at Light momentarily, "are you sure that our Ryuuzaki is the man you have here?" He looked back to Uramura.

"The only documentation we found was his death certificate made by the director of the funeral home," Uramura led them to an elevator and pressed one of the buttons. The doors closed. "He was found by one of the security guard. The guard said that he thought kids had broken into the mortuary, so he went to investigate. Sometimes teenagers lock their friends inside the caskets as a joke."

"Did this man specifically request for my father?" Light asked, watching as the numbers escalated up and up.

"No, we only knew to call you by the records left at the funeral home," he shook his head. "There's something else I would like to discuss with you, but however, it will have to wait until you have confirmed his identity. All I can tell you for the moment is that he is going through some tests."

"Tests?" Soichiro furrowed his eyebrows, "What kind of tests have you put him under?"

"We've done the basic health tests, but right now our specialists have set him to work on his memory," he replied.

_Memory?_

The doors opened and they followed Uramura down another hallway with doors on either side leading to sleeping patients. He led them through a wooden-paneled door that read 'Employees Only'. Their shoes squeaked as they made contact with the newly polished floors.

"Where does this lead to?" Soichiro winced at the irritating squeak.

"The observatory where Ryuuzaki is stationed."

A wall supporting broad windowpane stood at the attention of the hall, the only window with the largest scale. Soichiro pressed his hand to the cool glass and stood as if paralyzed, wide eyes gazing inside. Light slid close to his father to peer inside as well, arms crossed to indicate indifference. His fingers gripped harder and he felt as if he couldn't control his breathing, frantic intakes of breath seemed intent on replacing his controlled one.

_How dare him._

L looked as pale, and as calm as ever with white hospital gown covering his thin, frail body, making him look even more fragile than he was.

And utterly _breakable._

He wished he could snap that ivory neck and force that sickly body to return to its previous unmoving state. L was leaning against the chair with one knee to his chest, the other dangling from his seat, thumb lazily grazing his lips and stroking almost distractedly. He looked so weak, inky black tresses spilling around his visage in a black havoc, contrasting massively with the gaunt paleness of his cheek.

Light's insides churned.

L sat like he had no care in the world— taunting Light to make a move on a poor, defenseless man. His eyes were half-lidded as he seemed to listen on something Light couldn't hear from where he stood. Two doctors were in the room with him, one with lips moving to form words (questions, likely) with the other taking notes. But there was something, something different that oozes from L's very being, Light could sense that. He presented simple honesty, face more lax and sincere than he ever was, somehow.

_Rem, you fool. Why. What would L do now. _

_Would L immediately seize his freedom once he laid eyes on him?_

"Do you recognize him?" He faintly heard Uramura asking, either him or his father. He couldn't bring himself to confirm.

Soichiro nodded. "Yes," he looked at L with fascination.

"Ryuuzaki is currently undergoing a test that'll help us understand his interpretation of language," Uramura adjusted his glasses. "I have studied neurology and the effects severe injuries give the nerves in the brain for over fifteen years. His case is one like I've never seen before."

"What's wrong with him?"

Rubbing his temple, the doctor sighed and removed his glasses in an act of a nervous tick. "He has a severe case of amnesia. When we found him, he didn't know his name, his age, nothing. He can't remember anything prior to waking up in his casket."

Light relaxed, felt mildly pleased with the coincidence of lost memories. L couldn't harm him in any way whatsoever. But _he,_ he could harm L. This turned to be an intriguing predicament.

((Yes))

"What surprises me is that he may be one of the smartest boys I've ever encountered. He's fluent in eight different languages, but can't remember where he's learned it all." Uramura continued. "Ryuuzaki knows so much but can't find the answers to where he knew it all from."

"Are you certain he has amnesia?" Soichirou asked redundantly. Light could only barely hold back the urge to scoff. _Of course he does, don't question it— how persistent are you? _

"Yes, we have tested him several times by different methods. There's no mistaking it. The thing we can't be sure of is when he will begin remembering." Light lifted his eyebrows just a fraction, lips set in a firm line. The doctor glanced to the pale man inside the window. "What is your relationship with Ryuuzaki? Family?"

Light blinked innocently.

If he played it well, control would be under his power, to bend and seeking to twist the truth from L would be useful in the prospective; using this circumstance to his advantage would become favorable. If he played his part well, L would be in the very clutches of his hand. Wound tightly around his pretty little fingers. And having L on his side would be the icing on his plan. L would surely become a valuable asset, even more than Misa. What with his mind… a perfect irony that the one who swore to catch him, would be _serving_ under him. A mockery as well to L himself. _It would be easy to use you, detective._ But for now—

"We are friends. We met at our orientation."

He was already plotting.

Uramura nodded, "I see. And you, Mr. Yagami, you must have met him through your son, correct?"

Soichiro hummed a small grunt, eyes straying from the pale figure momentarily to look at the doctor.

"Those who suffer from amnesia recover faster when surrounded by family and friends. Do you know his family?"

"We don't know his family," Soichiro said, realizing the cripple of this quandary.

"He lives by himself," Light added.

"Is there anyone that could take him in?"

"No," Soichiro gave a gravely shake. "He—"

"But we could take him in." Light immediately cut in, adding the first step to his plan. "We're the closest he has to family," He looked over to Soichiro, striving for confirmation with a sharp look to his eyes. His father nodded in acquiescent.

Good. _Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer._

"He'll be released into your custody as of tomorrow then, but Ryuuzaki will need to visit the hospital every week so we can monitor his process."

"May we see him?" Light meekly asked. He gazed inside the window. L looked to be the same age as him. He wondered if L could be younger. The doctor walked briskly to the door, Soichiro following suit with Light as he trailed his eyes from the pale being, walking towards the door.

"Ryuuzaki-kun," Uramura announced, turning the knob open. "You have some visitors."

L blinked his large, large dark eyes and looked towards the voice addressing him when the door opened. The two doctors inside looked up from their tasks of questioning and noting, nodding politely to the visitors. Light carefully observed this new L when those inquisitive eyes landed on him. He maintained his face to be devoid of any ill-intent, looking harmless and mildly worried. Like a good friend should look. L looked so very sincere sitting there, innocently blinking up at him; the mind behind those eyes hadn't progress any percentages of Kira, or even knew of Kira. _Bendable._ It was quite odd seeing him in a flimsy white hospital gown. He looked defenseless.

"It is very nice to meet you," L was cordial. He even _smiled._ "What are your names?"

Could it be that amnesia had altered his whole bearing of himself? Deflecting his usual reserved, aloof personality?

His insides tingled, a laugh bubbling up his throat. "You don't remember me?" Light couldn't help the question, indirectly jibing at L. The others saw this as desperation when the friend did not recognize another, whilst it really was him laughing at L.

L blinked confusedly, eyes getting even wider, lips parted open slightly. "Have we met before?"

Soichirou stepped forward, "Ryuuzaki, I'm Soichiro Yagami. This is my son, Light. You both were good friends in college."

"Yagami? Then you must be the one who've sent and locked me away at that funeral home."

"Ah!" Soichirou was shocked at the man's bluntness and felt embarrassed all of the sudden. L only grazed his delicate knuckles lightly to his lips, a tick Light realized as some small offer of comfort to the detective. "Ryuuzaki, I had no idea that you were still…"

"It is fine," L brushed it off, lips curling into a feline-like smile, "Dr. Uramura has located the doctor who pronounced my death, and I have spoken to him myself. I asked him to keep the occurrence confidential; I don't want any media attention."

"You haven't changed," Light remarked, gazing down at L from his stance.

"Do you think?" L glanced up to him.

Light smiled weakly, faking sadness emanating from within, "You really can't remember anything, can you?"

"That's not entirely true…," L mumbled, looking down to his feet. Light's heart began to race, and he was seconds away from twitching from his gaze. What could possibly an amnesiac remember about? "I remember that man that saved me, his name was Tokama."

Light blew out a sigh, looking exasperated but really, he was eased.

"Ryuuzaki, you'll be moving in with us tomorrow. Is that okay with you?" Light looked over to his father asking. Soichiro planted a hand on L's shoulder. "Hm?"

L cocked his head to the side, frowning slightly at him, "Did I reside there beforehand?"

"No, you didn't," Light shook his head, watching as his father patted L on the shoulder, assuring. Or supposed to, L only looked mildly discomfited by the venial touch.

"Then, where did I live?"

Light watched those slim, dainty fingers curling around the off-white gown. Nervousness. Insecure.

"Well…" Soichiro fumbled for answer.

"In a dormitory at campus," Light swiftly interjected, observing closely for any reaction. "They gave up your dorm when they heard of the accident, Ryuuzaki."

L's fingers flexed and curled, flexed and curled, then lightly clasped on one bony knee. "And of this accident, how did it happen? No one ever told me…" he trailed off, picking lightly at the seams on the hem of his dress.

Should he tell him the truth, or should he lie? Soichiro gulped at the question, looking over at his son. _Please formulate something, I beg you_, his eyes hinted. Alternatively, he could combine the two options. Soichiro's eyes got sharper, urging him to say something. _Nobody could know that Ryuuzaki was L!_

Okay, a little bit of a white lie and the rest about what had happened to create the third option.

Light sighed and ran long fingers through caramel hair. "Well, your heart stopped and we rushed you to the hospital," He squinted his eyes, as if trying to remember what he was going to say next. L stared up at him, silently encouraging him to continue. "The doctors that examined you said that your heart had completely stopped after an hour of trying to get it to work again. They pronounced you dead, Ryuuzaki."

L looked down to his curled fingers, eyes blinking thoughtfully.

* * *

**A/N: Tell me something I don't know. Sorry if there were any mistakes, too lazy to check. Would somebody please volunteer to be my betaaaaa**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I hate human in general and I don't own Death Note.**

**A/N: I'm feeling freaking frustrated lately.**

**So happy for the reviews, thank you very much! Glad to know there are people out there liking what I've written! Just finished mid-term test yesterday, I was supposed to be working on my papers instead of writing fanfictions but ugh. I feel really guilty now for wasting my time writing fics instead of doing my schoolwork. As usual, not beta-ed. Pardon the grammatical errors, English is my second language.**

* * *

**LOST MEMORIES**

**CHAPTER THREE: KEEP YOUR ENEMY CLOSER**

"How are you feeling today, Ryuuzaki?"

He sat on the edge of his bed, eyes trailing over Light as the teen strode inside, a plastic bag rustling audibly after him. It was 10 in the morning, and if he were not mistaken, he'd be going to leave today with the Yagamis.

He dropped his stare when Light seemed to notice. The brunet was wearing a dark green sweater, and it looked fitting. So very unlike him who presented a pathetic drowned rat in his white drab. He looked away slightly, feeling exposed in something very thin. The hospital should have provided better garment than something as flimsy as a white, paper gown, he thought sullenly.

"Passable," he supposed he should ask about how the teen was doing as well, isn't that how socializing works? Being polite? "And how are you?"

Light hummed, setting down the bag on a table. "Fine," he answered simply. "Have you remembered anything yet?"

He bit the inside of his cheek, feeling depressed. He'd woken up sometime around 2 AM and hadn't been able to drift back to sleep afterwards. He'd stared out the window, watching the streets, deserted of pedestrian (who in their right state of mind would walk this late at night), trying to conjure up anything that could help him with his predicament. Namely, his name. Or perhaps anything, really, such as his hobby, perhaps?

The nurse fretted when she came inside to check on him at six sharp. _No wonder you got such dark rings under your eyes_, she'd said, then telling him to try going back to sleep as to recover his health.

He did not like being told what to do, and he just sullenly sat curled with face kept to the side, ignoring the middle-aged nurse. Perhaps it was rude, but at 6 AM in the morning, he just could not bring himself to care. The sun was rising up steadily, and he wanted to watch in peace.

Light took a box out from the bag. The raven perked up curiously when he smelled something nice wafting from the object in Light's hands.

"No, I do not remember anything of any importance…" He trailed off, hugging both knees to his chest, cheek resting upon them. "What is it that you have there?"

Light looked up from his task of removing the lid. The smell grew stronger when it was lifted. He closed his eyes momentarily, savoring the sweet, enticing aroma. "It smells nice."

Light chuckled lightly, lids lowered as he lightly set the lid aside, "cheesecake. You'll like it." He carefully took out the pale yellow dessert; the smell grew even sweeter as he did. He started cutting it up with precise motion into smaller pieces. L watched his nimble fingers grasping the plastic knife, sawing through the spongy texture.

"You used to like eating these, even more than regular food," Light dropped the knife and dabbed his hand with some tissues. There were bits of whip cream on them, making them feel sticky. "In fact, I've never seen you eat anything beside sweets."

"Is that so?" He brought his thumb up to nibble on, "I don't really recall."

"Believe me, you do," he gave a genial smile. "You've always preferred eating diabetic artificial sweets to regular food."

He shrugged, "I wouldn't know, Light." Honestly, he didn't even know how cheesecakes taste like. He didn't really remember.

"Right, you wouldn't." Light gave a melancholy sigh, "Why don't you try now, then? Father's still at the reception desk, it would take some time before we take you home." He motioned at the cut-up cake, "Quite delectable."

He gave another shrug, "I suppose."

Oh, it was heavenly.

He almost choked on the first bite. It was just perfect, the dessert tasted soft and glorious in his mouth, the sweet flavor oozed down his throat in a plethora of greatness. His eyes closed to focus on savoring the blissful taste of it. He chewed slowly. It was cold, it was sweet, it was the first nice thing he knew for the recent days of his life since he'd woken up in that coffin. He faintly realized that Light was watching him eating, his own piece untouched.

How could he not remember something as good as this? He scrunched up his face a bit. He should have remembered how cheesecake tastes like, it tastes way too good to ever be forgotten. But then again, _I don't even remember my own name nor having any clue on what the first letter of it was. _He set his fork down without noticing it.

"Is it not to your liking?" He heard the question. Light got his brows screwed together in confusion.

And now, was he being rude? The raven smiled anxiously, feeling as if he'd done something wrong. "It's nice." He jabbed his fork into the cream and licked it off. Simply chuckled at the display.

He looked up and felt his cheeks flushing. Did he do something wrong? Perhaps he'd embarrassed himself by eating so carelessly, not even aware that there was other watching him as he did so. He did not understand why the brunet looked very amused, but he felt rather uncomfortable, with those perfect almond eyes glinting with mirth when the other saw the warm heat on his cheeks. He swallowed down and looked away, the slight red still present for all to see. He willed them down but they seemed adamant on staying, shaming him further.

He swore he could hear the other's mind, still laughing at him, even after Light had stopped chuckling. "Pardon," he mumbled.

Light smiled, all playful and encouraging. It'd done nothing to make him feel better. It made him feel even more improper.

The teen shook his head, "You have a little something here," he scratched the side of his own lips, showing where the icing had stuck.

He tried wiping it with his palm, "Has it gone?" he flicked his eyes back to Light, the cream apparently still intact.

Light gave his head another shake, "Not quite, here," he leaned over. He could faintly smell the cologne the other had sprayed for great measure of making himself presentable. Could feel the heat of a body so close, draping over him. Could see each, individual lashes that adorned brown, amber eyes.

He'd never had anyone this close to him. He did not exactly remember, but he knew, he didn't feel well when someone was breaching the general three foot rule of personal space.

Light wiped the mess off with his thumb. He licked the digit afterwards.

He touched the side of his cheek where it met with Light's finger.

There was something carnal tugging at his chest and making him feel heavy. Perhaps those lips that had looked so suave, or the sensual air that coiled around the brunet, albeit not on purpose.

But was it on purpose? However inadvertent it looked?

* * *

It was interesting, Light realized, seeing L unguarded and so naïve.

He'd noticed the effect he has on the raven when he'd drifted closer. The other became stiff, even as far as forgetting to breathe for a fraction. Seems that, no matter with memory intact or damaged, the former detective still held great dislike of physical contact. To be in close proximity with anybody made him easy to read.

It was thrilling.

He'd seen the way L quailed under his stare, how nervous he'd become. _How I could crush you…_

They were on their way home with his father driving. L had his legs drawn up, body leaning to the side. The man opted to stare out the window instead of engaging in anything remotely of the conversing nature with Light. He did not mind. L was nervous, and it was entertaining to behold. He may not show much, but the widening of those already wide eyes were enough to surface the truth.

"Eh? So he's not dead?" Ryuk rasped, chuckling, one grotesque finger poking at L's side. Of course, he could not feel the poke, but the action made Light wanted to twitch indignantly. The gangly creature sat between them in the vehicle, inadvertently making an invisible wall between him and L. The raven was still staring out the window, hair swaying along with the move of the car.

_Yes, why is he not dead, I wonder? _He glared at Ryuk from the reflection in the window to his right. The God of Death seemed to read what was on his mind, and chuckled even more obnoxiously, the sound like chalk grating on a board.

"Wonder why Rem put that curse on him, though, hm," Ryuk tapped on his chin.

_Oh?_ _Care to elaborate?_ Light shifted, eyes sliding to Ryuk, indicating interest.

"I would like to tell you, but what do you have as payment for me? How about doing the eye trade?"

Light rolled his eyes. As if. There was a bag of apple on the floor of the car he bought along with the cake he'd given L. He looked down at it, Ryuk's own gaze following.

"Only apples? You're no fun."

Light took the bag in hand. He procured one red, gleaming fruit.

"Ryuuzaki, try eating this."

Ryuk screeched frantically. "But that's mine!"

_You don't seem to want it._

His permanent grin seemed to twitch down in deplore. "Okay, okay, Light! Just, give me that apple!"

Light did not seem to hear the pleading and instead held out the fruit closer to L. The raven spared it a glance. "Thank you, but I'm not hungry." He stared out the window again.

"It's good for your health, Ryuuzaki. You are still recovering, anyway," Light urged.

"Not from anything of any real health concern, I'm not suffering from any malady. Just memory loss. Eating apples won't help me regaining anything back." L bit out.

"There's no need to be so caustic about it either, Ryuuzaki."

He made sure that his tone sounded hurt instead of chiding. There was uncertainty and the faltering of a resolve in L's eyes. If he could just prod a bit more… "I was only trying to make you feel better." _Better my arse. I hope you'll die again soon, before you remember anything._

L's eyes lowered in guilt. He laid his head on the window and breathed out softly, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude."

"That's fine, I understand," a gentle smile, the retraction of coiling gaze. He'd been pinning L with his eyes, sizing him up and keeping him on his toes. Light knew that his actions affect the detective greatly. L did not like to be scrutinized very closely, which he'd gladly do just to unnerve the dark-haired intellectual further. _Hypocrite._ L gave his own uncertain quirk of lips, lids heavy and eyes tired, then those damning dark eyes slid away to stare out the window again.

His father did not seem to notice the tense air that dawned between the individuals at the back. He kept driving in silence, lost in his thoughts, perhaps still not believing that _the_ L was well and alive. Light couldn't fault that, he was baffled himself. Such inconvenience.

Ryuk heaved a relieved sigh. "I thought you were going to really give th—"

Light brought the fruit to his lips and bit the hard flesh. _Crunch._ Juicy.

Ryuk screeched, wings fluttering around with indignation.

L bit his lip at the savoury crunch, flinching a bit when it damaged the silence from before. The detective was wearing one of his shirts, black button-down, the collar slightly up on one side. Scruffy. Sloppy. It was too big about one size on L, even when he'd left only two buttons undone, revealing soft, milky jutting collar bone and the almost feminine curve of his neck. Vulnerable. L wasn't the man he was before, now much more honest, he had nothing to hide. The jeans as well, were too big, but not baggy like L's own had been.

He figured that maybe, playing close could help him in getting rid of L. The information that Ryuk has... he'd have to talk to the God of Death in private soon, and see if there were any ways he could turn the tide. Or undo the resurrection...

He'd have to get Misa to meet L. See what bloody letters were hanging garishly above his head, now that he had no memory of his name.

* * *

"Ah, it's nice meeting you, Ryuuzaki. Light has told me a lot about you, I hope you'll feel at home here." Sachiko held the door open, smiling, motioning for the three of them to come in. He nodded uncertainly, following as Light and Soichiro stepped inside the threshold.

Soichiro started, "Have you—"

"Prepared the spare bed? You don't need to tell me twice, dear." Sachiko sent a stiff smile to the father. "You'll be staying for dinner, hm?"

"Ah…"

Soichiro seemed struggled for something to say. To be honest, he needed to go to the office, settle about some work. He'd be coming back into the NPA after all. "About that, Ryuuzaki likes to eat sweet things, do we have something like that for dessert?" He subtly swerved the subject

"I do?" He looked over to the man.

"It's fine, Father. I'm sure Ryuuzaki wouldn't mind eating something else."

"Oh well then, but we do have something sweet. I'm sure Sayu still has her strawberries somewhere, I could prepare the chocolate dip." Sachiko said.

Light smiled at her, "Really, don't worry about it. I'll be showing Ryuuzaki where the room is now."

Light took his hand, elegant fingers curling about his small wrist. The action seemed innocent, but he felt that the other had done it on purpose, making up reason to breach his aversion to human contact. "Let's,"

He consented and followed the tug on his hand to ascent up the stairs.

He watched the way Light's shirt shifted, the way his broad shoulders moving. How could there be anything as beautiful as this person? It's almost ethereal. Light seemed to be a person who would never take no as an answer, always getting whatever he wants. Worming his way into people with such prone. He didn't know much about this... how old was he? Seventeen? He could very well be older with the way he bear himself around others.

Speaking of age, how old was _himself?_ He don't look that much older than Light. Certainly not younger, perhaps a year or two older? He bit his lip. _Who am I, actually?_

The handle was turned and they stepped inside the room. His first impression was… it was ridiculously _neat_. No posters, no photo frames, only a digital clock hanging above the desk and the computer upon it. Light's bed had a spare mattress underneath it that could be slid out, with small wheels attached underneath the wooden frame. It was out, the bed, already a blanket folded neatly and a spare pillow set for him to use. The lights were still off and the brunet flicked it on, instantly bathing the room with a clearer view.

"Should we go down now?"

His hand wrist was oddly still held within Light's grasping fingers. Like a vice. It felt unrelenting, even though he could easily slip out of it. He gently tried prying the limb away, reasoning with himself that he just wanted to step inside further, rather than to avoid the touch. Light released his hold and folded both arms, standing languidly while L took a look around the room.

After some while, he looked back to the brunet and uncertainly complimented the neat place.

"Mother just cleaned it," Light smiled, "come. They must be waiting for us downstairs. You should try Mother's chicken tenders and onigiri. They taste really good."

He had to admit that he rather like the brunet's voice. Smooth, placating, pleasing. A voice that could be used to coax anybody into doing his biddings. Combined with the eyes, the smooth curve of his jaw, high cheekbones. He felt something fluttered at the bottom of his belly. He looked away.

There was a mirror mounted on wardrobe, his reflection staring back at him. The face was unfamiliar and yet, it was himself at the same time. Too dark eyes, too pale skin, untidy jagged black hair. He didn't know whose face he was staring at. It wasn't him, couldn't be him. How could someone this unsightly become friends with someone like Light Yagami in the first place? One would think that Light would choose friends that at least maintain their appearance. He didn't look like someone who did well in that department, could be seen from the way his hair spilled down almost touching his shoulder. He wanted to grimace. Didn't he cut his hair before he got his amnesia?

"Okay…" he looked away from the mirror. He couldn't bear seeing someone so unfamiliar staring back, posing as him and yet didn't feel like him.

Light walked out the door. "Okay, come on."

He should be getting used to seeing that face. And he should really be getting used by being called Ryuuzaki, instead of registering the call twice whenever someone called him that. _But it's not my name…_ And how did he knew that it wasn't his name? Light told him back then in the hospital that he had no surname, it was likely that Ryuuzaki was only a nickname, alias, or something of the sort. He bit at his thumb, feeling devastated. Perhaps dinner would get his mind off of these depressing thoughts. He wished he would remember something soon.

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**A/N: My writing is freaking generic. I wrote chapter three today and posted it right after finishing writing 1,000 words. I hate hate hate hate my writing.**

**Just bought this cute earring, wore it yesterday when I went out with Father. It's chunky, looks like a carved bone and quite big. The other side is small and looked like a crooked bone. Not as big as my hoops though, which I could wear as bangles. **


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